Story

Unexpected bundle of joy

It'd been awhile since we saw the nephews and nieces. My stomach was churning but my curiousity was strong.

Jackie said they had something important to ask her. I wondered if they would even take the time to stop and say hello. And what could they need to talk to Jackie about?

Six years before, right after we settled into our first home, my husbands sister called to ask if we would take in her four children and one nephew as she was unable to care for them. Our hearts immediately said yes, but our minds were reeling, how were we going to manage this one?? We already had four children of our own, these five would be coming from an entirely different way of life and would, for the sake of us all have to be subject to about a gazillion new rules.

Needless to say, it was no picnic, for any of us, but perseverance prevailed. By summer, the kids seemed to have settled into a new way of life. We had fought off the demons of change, fought for our rights and understanding of the school system and the worse was over.

Then my husbands sister called to ask the kids if they'd like to visit for the summer, then return when school starts. There were two that protested stating they were sure they would not return if they left. My husband, to avoid any family politics, told them to be strong and make sure they come back.

Needless to say, they didn't get on the plane when it came time to return. We were saddened, hurt and we didn't hear from them until now when Jackie, who was married to the oldest of the five and had 2 young girls of their own informed me of their visit. I halfway didn't expect they'd come to see us.

They were due to fly in at 11:00am. Jackie would pick them up from the airport.

At 2:30 that afternoon, Jackie called to say they were on their way to our house. My heart must have skipped a couple of beats, I wasn't sure how to talk to them. Of course they were anxious to see their cousins, my kids. I asked her who came, she said it was the two oldest girls, Michelle and Gena, now, ages 21 and 23. "Karen, she said, they came with Sophies' newborn, they want me to take care of him. He's only 2 weeks old. Sophie is in a mental hospital and they want me to take him!"

The Visit

When Michelle and Gena walked in the door there was all kinds of excitment. The dogs were barking and jumping, the kids were all talking at once, the phone was ringing and I was trying to straighten up the kitchen.

Michelle and Gena came and gave my husband and I a somewhat reserved hug and set the carseat with baby on the kitchen table and went downstairs to visit.

I looked at the baby. He was so tiny. As I watched him sleep I envisioned what his life would be like and I felt sad for him. I tried to feel a connection with him, but it wasn't there. I thought about all the wierd dreams I'd been having the last couple of months, I called them nightmares. They all consisted of me, in various ways of having another baby. One dream I'd find the baby in the woods during a drive, another I would have the baby and it was already talking and walking I had to look deep into myself, was this wishful thinking? I was done having kids.

Snapped into reality

Just then Michelle came over to the baby and snatched him up as if I were trying to kidnap him. I was offended but relieved at the same time. It was then that I made a pact with God. I said I believed he took care of the children. I trusted he would see this baby got the care he needed. Perhaps I wasn't to be the care taker, no hard feelings, but promise me...

I was hurt by Michelles' open anymosity, Gena took me aside and said Michelle was feeling a bit nostalgic. It was like going back in time, leaving Mom and going to people we didn't even know. She was scared all over again and in tears. We brought the baby here for Jackie to care for but she said she couldn't so we're going back tomorrow and taking the baby. They didn't even keep me as an option for taking care of him. Oh Well, he'll be fine, God promised!!!